What Is Holding Me Back

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What potential do I have and has it been reached? If I had to rate the quality of my life on a scale from 1 to 10, what would that number be? If nothing else changed in my life as of today, would I be happy? What is my deepest need and has it been met? How do I define what a fully lived life is like? Am I living the life that I know I am capable of living?

I dare you to take a piece of paper and go into a quiet room and ask yourself these questions. I double dog dare you to answer them with 100% honesty. Please take a few minutes to answer the questions in some level of detail. The tricky thing here will be what type of justifications you put around the answers you give. Honestly, it doesn’t matter to me if you need to judge and justify your responses. All I am trying to do is get you to answer them with complete honesty.

After you’ve taken a couple minutes to answer all these questions, I have one more question for you: what is holding you back?

When responding to this question it actually is helpful if you do justify and label whatever it is that is holding you down. If you want to define being held back as a lack of success, you can. Or you can define it as not getting your needs met or however you wish to take it. For all these are very personal questions that only you can put context around. It is actually very critical that you put a lot of context in your answers because that will help you ultimately see the limiting belief and get you moving forward with your life.

Here’s a quick tidbit so you’re not only just beating up on yourself and feeling bad. Even the most successful people in one way or another have something that is holding them back in something. If your answer turned into a poor me response, that is okay as long as you are able to keep yourself from getting completely attached to the emotions that you might be feeling. It is important because I need you to keep some level of a clear head so that we can help you succeed and find what contains happiness and joy in your life. The reason for this is because it lets you compare and contrast the bad from the good and that allows you the ability to step past whatever is holding you back.

Now that you’ve completed answering the questions I want you to get some space from them for 30 minutes. Once you have a clear head, take some time and read your responses. Do you see words like: owes me, out to get me, stuck in, it’s too late, think I’m foolish or stupid, it’s their fault, don’t deserve it, don’t know how, can’t get a break, and don’t have the time. You might or might not be surprised by the set of negative beliefs and thoughts that you wrote down when you were talking about something that you are facing great resistance to get. It is a conditioned response to look at the negative whenever you are talking about something that is holding you back or hasn’t gone the way you wanted it to. It is not your fault that this conditioned response and belief exists within you, but it is your responsibility to change it if you do want to get ahead in life.

There is a quote out there that says, “If you are not growing, you are dying.” If you are the type of person that believes you can stay stagnant, then I have the unfortunate news let you know that you’re still dying. Deep within the matrix of life there is a requirement that everything change. And life sees change the same as the word grow. The reason it sees it this way is because reality is based on a contextual field, and when something changes that means its context has changed. This change of context allows a perspective to be created between those two points of context. This new perspective allows for a new understanding and experience to be developed and hence that equals growth. Anything that does not grow and help life develop new perspectives of context will ultimately die and become extinct. This happens because of the “more life to all” principle. So when something blocks that principle from being able to happen; it is time to be removed from the equation.

How does all this spiritual mumbo-jumbo relate to your life and that deep feeling of being held back and inability to get a break? It does because if you actually strip away all the spiritual context and look at it from a technical or methodology based mind you will be able to see the logic in the system presented before you. Whatever your reason is that you feel the way you do, you have to come to a point where you are willing to take ownership of at least that feeling. Until you do that, the mindset you have will by default make everything be outside of you. By that I mean, the answer to getting past the problem is outside of you.

Unfortunately, if it is outside of you how will it ever change. When it becomes part of you, through taking ownership or personal responsibility, you finally get into a mindset that allows you have some change. It is like the only way for it to change if for you to be able to get your hands on it. If you are the type of person that answered the questions and ultimately came to the conclusion that you were the thing that was holding you back – then I congratulate you. If you are the type of person that answered the questions and ultimately came to the conclusion that you were a victim to something else and that is what was holding you back – then I ask you if you still feel that way?

If you still do, then I ask you in what area or one specific thing do you not feel the victim? How is that one thing different than all those other things you answered above? My next question would be – can you find some way to take the empowerment you feel in the non-victim situation and apply it to the victim situation? Or what do you need to change in the situation to give you the empowerment you need so that you can remove the victim state? Find that one little thing that life did give you to allow you to feel the feeling of empowerment. Now latch onto that thing and feeling and apply it to those victim situations. You can overcome them with that energy and belief in yourself.

I am going to give you one other little secret that is probably the most important in getting past seeing everything as outside of your control. I fully understand how it seems that whatever is holding you back is out of your control. Who wouldn't think so when it deals with other people or things that you cannot change. Honestly, this is true. But, here is the one bit of context that people miss in this situation. Yes, your experience is outside of you but ultimately it still deals WITH YOU. Since it deals with you, you have the final say so and power to change it. No matter what you deal with in life on an outside perspective, you can never get away from the "in person perspective" that makes you part of it. Because of that little thing, you are now the one holding the power to change it - whether it is in a mental, physical, spiritual, or whatever way. Just one little change in one of those things can cause a whole new result. And who knows where that result might lead you.

Life is moving forward with or without you, but the funny thing is you are never left behind. Every moment of every day you are being given the gift of another opportunity to allow you to jump aboard. To life it doesn’t matter when you do because it knows that sooner or later you will. Why? Because even when you die you ultimately change state and then the energy from your new state will become part of life. I know that is a bit morbid, but I say it only to show you that you have all the time in the world to change. I hope, though, that you don’t wait to your deathbed to decide to finally change and that instead - you use the time you have now. Why? Because of all the experiences you can have by moving forward with life in this moment!

It is not easy to get past things when you’re being hold back by something. Whether it is you or another person. Trust me, I myself have faced those demons. But, I believe you can do it and if you need my help please reach out to me. Or if you just want a fan to root for you from the stands, then give me a ring and tell me where to show up.


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Author Christiaan Stoudt

Christiaan focuses on transformation by helping businesses and individuals strategically evolve past their limiting paradigms allowing them achieve their true success and growth potential.

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