Starting down the self-improvement road can be filled with large roadblocks like resistance, bad habits, negative comments from loved ones, etc. Due to this it is very common for most people to just not try or to quit pretty soon after they start. Their ability for self-motivation dissipates quickly because they don’t get the positive feedback that they need from external sources.
Unfortunately to be self-motivated you need to ensure that the motivation comes from within instead of looking to outside sources for encouragement. The motivation tips I talk about here are going to be different than the average ones you see in other places. If you want to understand on how to get motivated you need to look deep inside yourself and gain clarity on what you are trying to be motivated on means to you.
The root of all motivation comes from motivational thoughts and it is up to you to be the genesis of those thoughts. We all feel that nugget of energy and hear that little voice telling us that we need to get something done. So we quickly start to do things and if we don’t see results immediately we stopped and reconsider our actions. That initial thought was a bit of energy related to something we desire, yet we don’t always have the clarity to really understand the deeper meaning of that desire. That desire is usually linked to a feeling and if we don’t have that feeling soon after we start we reconsider everything that we were doing.
We need to create an environment where our desires are fulfilled quickly so that a positive feedback loop is created. Once our desire has been filled we will have the feeling that we were originally trying to achieve. Through that feeling we are able to create a pathway in our mind that says something like – desire this, do that, and receive the feeling. When you are able to do this multiple times in a row that sequence becomes more of a habit as well as helping your subconscious see that your desires can be met.
When you have situations where your desire is not quickly fulfilled by the actions you take - you end up creating a negative feedback loop. This loop subconsciously shows you that no amount of effort you take to achieve your desires will actually result in the feeling you want. So what you end up feeling is unmotivated to take the steps necessary to achieve your desire. This is where clarity can be very useful in teaching yourself how to self motivate.
When you start getting clarity on what the feeling is that you’re trying to achieve you will be able to find various ways that you can do it. You have to realistically look at what you’re not feeling motivated to do and see how it relates to the feeling you’re trying to achieve. Ask yourself if there is another way that you can do this. Also determine if there are related actions that you can take that will allow you to achieve the feeling that may be in a more roundabout way. When you start looking at the situation this way you have no longer have this big uphill battle you need to fight.
This doesn’t mean you’re not going to be stuck in situations where you are forced to do things you just don’t really want to. But, when you look at the situation this way – what’s the feeling I’m trying to have – you can actually determine if the situation your in can actually result in that feeling. To make things a little bit easier to understand, let’s use an example to illustrate the mindset and method behind this technique. Let’s pretend that you are one of the people that can never feel motivated in the day job that they have.
You go to work on a daily basis but nothing inspires you and you really don’t have the motivation needed to execute your job. Instead of trying to find ways to get yourself motivated you should dive deeper into yourself and trying to understand the feeling that your job means to you. Said another way – what feeling are you trying to achieve through your job. Once you have clarity on that you will be able to look at your work and find ways that you can have that feeling. You can get creative and take certain actions that will fulfill your need. If by chance you are unable to find any, then maybe it is time to reconsider that job.
One important thing to note is that when you’re trying to determine a feeling you must be willing to ask the question why. Then based on the answer you get you need to ask the question why again. And then repeat the process over and over until you get at the core feeling you are trying to achieve. This is important because a lot of times feelings are a layered situation and because we don’t dive deep enough into them we assume that first layer is the right answer. The funny thing is related to motivation that it is a layered situation as well. Sometimes we don’t feel motivation to do something but in reality it’s a different task we don’t want to do.
The last important point with this whole process is that you need to start small. Do not take on the thing you have the least amount of motivation to do. Instead find stuff that is linked to feelings that are easier to achieve. When you do this you are able to build momentum and start to break down the resistance you feel towards everything that you’re not really motivated to do. As I said, many things are linked so when you start to break down the wall of one it can help you break down the wall of something else. Sometimes it is easier to do it this way then taking on that harder goal right away.